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[noassgardian]

[TEXT | AUDIO | VIDEO]

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[ikols]

[ Complicated is an understatement, one which makes him chuckle. Billy is a good audience. ]

Tell me about it, I'm walking on eggshells around Robb Stark in case I put the words 'red' and 'wedding' together.

[noassgardian]

Exactly. He asked me what the books say about him and I just... froze. I can't tell someone they die like that.

[He lets out a soft laugh that's hardly really happy or amused at all. His life has gotten so weird since coming here... and that's saying something after running around the multiverse for so long.]

[ikols]

Don't tell him unless he asks and if he does then tell him everything. Better he knows enough to live a full life here, if he wishes to, than to waste the extra time afforded by this city.

I was going to ask him out to dinner.

[ Heh. ]

[noassgardian]

Maybe... Or maybe he'll go find the books himself. Either way, it's probably not going to be pretty.

[Loki.]

Of course you are. What makes you think he's interested?

[ikols]

Just tell him his life's history has been chronicled, and to avoid any books with certain titles. [ Munching away. ] And nothing tells me he's not interested.

[noassgardian]

Yeah, he knows he's in... history books. He thinks I'm from a modern Westeros, I think. [He tried to explain, okay. He snorts at Loki's answer, smiling slightly.]

You're horrible.

[ikols]

Why? He's handsome, we know he's not a psychopath, just sort of recklessly and honourably dumb. That's no different to most of Asgardia.

[ Ain't even sorry, Billy!! ]

Also the fur. I do love authentic fluff against the skin.

[ As if that wasn't already obvious with the coat he usually wears. ]

[noassgardian]

He's definitely all those things, yeah.

[Especially handsome. Oops.

... Wait.]

Loki, this isn't going to turn into another description like the mask kiss, is it? [He lets out a sigh.]

You know, you might be able to make money writing 50 Shades of Grey-level erotica.

[Okay, no. Loki could probably write better than that.]

[ikols]

I already write fan fiction, I'll have you know. Some of it ... wasn't so great, but now I have quite the number of followers!

[ Yeeeeeaaaa boi. ]

[noassgardian]

Wait. What?

[Oh my god, he was joking, Loki.]

What sort of fan fiction?

[If it's Captain America/Loki stuff...]

[ikols]

[ Digging out his Starkphone, he scrolls to the webpage of his fanfic account. There's a number of Loki/Sif, Bill/Kelda, Aphrodite/Sif and Ares/Fandral on there. Oops. ]

Knock yourself out.

[noassgardian]

[Oh no.

Loki, why.]

You're unbelievable.

[ikols]

You haven't even read any of it yet! At least leave concrit. [ Waving his fork!! ] Don't blame with flames, Billy Kaplan.

[noassgardian]

Uh-huh. I'm not leaving concrit, Loki, and these weren't the kinds of Norse stories I thought I'd be hearing tonight...

[Why is he actually clicking on something to read?]

I guess this explains why you know all the ship names...

[ikols]

[ Setting his empty plate on the coffee table he slumps back into the couch to watch Billy, a smile playing on his lips. ]

I've had a lot of down-time over the past year, in between the kidnappings and assorted rubbish.

[noassgardian]

Between video games, television, and writing all of this... when did you even have time to sleep?

[Because it sounds like he's been really busy here. He shifts a bit, reading through some Loki/Sif thing and he can't help it--]

Did you really cut her hair? I mean, like in the myths.

[ikols]

I don't sleep often, it isn't a requirement of a god. [ Mildly smug eyebrow waggles, insert them here.

Loki itches a temple. ]

Mmhm. She had the most beautiful golden hair, shaving it all off was intended as a prank but my former self had a somewhat twisted sense of humour. All of that leads to some pretty dark tales about how Mjolnir came to be and what ensued that mess.

[noassgardian]

I've heard them, yeah.

[He tilts his head back, meeting Loki's eyes.]

She'd kill you for writing these, huh?

[ikols]

Oh, yes. In a heartbeat, absolutely.

[ Hah, ignore the way he rests a cheek in a hand, elbow propped on the back of the couch. He's not blushing, you're blushing! ]

Much sword-hacking, etcetera.

[noassgardian]

Right.

[He snorts.]

But it's worth the risk, I guess?

[ikols]

If you think Sif will ever get herself online, to that specific page, to see those particular stories, you're living in a world where Volstagg regularly exercises.

[noassgardian]

Okay, I guess you do have a point. Not many Asgardians seem to be online...

[Or that he noticed anyway. Thor didn't seem to have much use for it.]

Why do you like it so much?

[ikols]

Why wouldn't I? It's ingenious! Look at how much can be accomplished with Midgardian technology, not a spell to be seen and it's still possible to text someone on the other side of the planet. I can tell you now, Jotunheim has never cracked the secret to a good hotdog with onions.

If I am to dwell on Midgard then I should like to understand as much of it as possible. It's my home, too.

[noassgardian]

I guess most people don't stop to think about it like that... but it is, isn't it? And it makes things so much more convenient.

[Okay, Loki can have his phone back now. Billy should clear the dishes anyway.]

Dinner was great, by the way.

[ikols]

If I ever get un-exiled, you should come with me to Asgardia sometime. We could dress you up in some traditional garb, have a night out on the town.

[ Which would inevitably lead to a lot of drinking, of course, but Loki would shake that up. He remains on the sofa as Billy cleans the plates, letting him do his part in exchange for the meal. ]